DEAR 4TH ALEX

Except for the occasional Sprite Bottle in the trash can, 4th Alex has made great strides over the past months. No more does anyone mistake the letter combination "PLEASE DON'T THROW OUT PERSONAL TRASH" with "DEAR WORLD, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMPTY YOUR PRIVATE TRASH INTO WHAT IS POSSIBLY THE SMALLEST TRASCH CAN IN NORTH AMERICA." For a while there, I thought that pretty soon Aramark was going to abandon the contract with have with Waste Management Inc., and decided to dump all their food and plastic trash in 4th Alex bathroom just to make sure they don't get left behind in most up to date waste disposal strategies.

Casting Pearls before Swine is our Middle Name

Authorities are investigating 4th Alex as the original source of the swine flu...

Bizarro Vacuum

Only on 4th Alex could using a vacuum make your floor dirtier. I turned it on without noticing that one of the clips on the bag was undone, and immediately dusty dirt balls shot out onto my floor. We all have to come to grips with the fact that 4th Alex might be like the cosmic Pigpen character from Charlie Brown: you can try to clean it up, but the dirt clouds inevitably ensue. I guess that's just how it likes it.

Crime Scene in Shower 2

Evidence from shower two suggests that someone was shaving with a toothbrush, but were called away suddenly, dropping both toothbrush and shaving cream in the shower, where they remain. Sources close to shower two (they will be kept anonymous for witness protection sake) suggest that it isn't actually possible to shave with a toothbrush, and are on the lookout for a lonely razor and tube of toothpaste, absconded together no doubt. We'll keep everyone updated on the progress of this story.

Hell in a trashbasket

Dear Friends,
We all know that the only thing that remains constant and consistent is the progression of cultural, and a language that updates itself to correspond to the new reality created and carved out by human groups as they related to each other, evolve, and seek new ways and places for creating breeding grounds for bacteria.
One group that has not been left behind are the gentlemen (or shall we say gentleman) of Alex. The combination of toilet paper, razor blades, empty shampoo bottles, and chick fillet styrofoam cups seems to be a combination that has attracted much interest lately. Perhaps the researcher conducting this experiement is trying to find a new drug that combines all 4 of these elements, or perhaps this is a sociolgoical experiment that seeks to establish how far one must got to piss of a group of 11 normal guys.
Perhaps reseracher has found his (or her...almost forgot that) answer, which would explain why he has moved onto new ventures involving plastic Gatorade Frost ( a venture with the following steps---1 throw away, 2 wait for another party to fish it out of trash, 3 re-deposit in trash can).
March on, march on, eat more chicken and throw away valuable pamphlets from Washington DC. You too might be the next 4th Alex scientist/sociologist.